LifeSightsSound

Let’s talk about this phenomenon amongst career-climbing individuals of timbre and calibre, my humble self included. At several points in my riding career, I felt the imposter syndrome waves of doubts flood my mind and breed the unheaviness of doubt in my ability and capabilities. I often tell myself I would be found out that I do not know half as much as they think I know. I would constantly stare into the mirror, and fear gripped me in every chamber that my heart resides. I even voice it out sometimes, lol. I am sure the Holy Spirit was laughing at me every time I do that. According to Havard Business review, Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.

So let’s break it down. I have noticed that the people gripped with this “imposter syndrome” are highly talented and very good in their field or craft. They reel out knowledge like it was imprinted in their minds, and they can do these things with their eyes closed. I also noticed that they are very passionate and beat themselves up more often than not if things are not going according to plan. Sometimes I wonder if they are all these and more than why imposter syndrome have?

The same article from Harvard Business Review says that some researchers have linked this behaviour to how parents label their children, putting so much pressure on them when they are young. Some phrases associated with this behaviour are “I must not fail”, “I feel like a fake” (I have used this severally), and “I was just lucky”.

So this is my take and how I have come to view and live with Imposter Syndrome. It comes because I have a series of successes in quick succession, which means I am making more progress than I ever thought I would. It comes because there is a greater power at work in me(the Holy Spirit), so I cannot say I have achieved it all on my own. The fear in the pit of my stomach means I will perform something bigger and more significant than me.

So I rewrite the narrative in my head, ascribe the success to the Father of Light, Abba, The King of kings and without him, I can do absolutely nothing. I speak openly about it with people who I know can talk positively into my life and give me the “ginger”, people that would remind me of successes that I have attained. My sisters are for me, my coach Alex, my senior colleague, Ayo and many others I cannot count. I set out a plan, and I visualise success.

I hope this speaks to you as it speaks to me…